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who's there?
why hide your face?
what damage can be done
through your appearances?
what is more harsh
than your touch?
how can you cut me
any deeper than this?
does my pain exceed
your goals?
or will my dripping blood
spoil your fun?
how can i fufill you
my master?
what can i do
to please you in your ways?
i'll let you slash me again
you can have my soul
go ahead and take my heart
you own it all, my love
just tell me how to pleasure you
just tell me what to do
i'll be your puppet, your doll, your toy
just own me, make me yours
show yourself
are you of existance here?
so silent
how will you speak of me?
eyes of glass
do you see my dripping emotions?
hands of breaking stone
can you feel my beating passion?
the blood slides so slowly with you
how do you know?
which way my veins flow, and who taught you
to summon blood as you do?
silver silence shredding my skin
why do you do it?
my every memory pours crimson
are you happy now?
tell me do i please you
when im gushing you demanded blood
and laying at the mercy
of your iron mind
show me your face, stranger
i want to see my terror up close
let me touch your hand, darkness
i want to feel my enemy
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feel the trickle... i know it's going to hurt... i keep waiting...
time seems to hold hands with me...
i walk faster when i think some thing might try to help me... save me...
almost a run...
look how empty the sky is without those stars...
how lifeless the day without truth...
why must i be such a horrible ... me?
i'm tired... the ground is heavy...
my body moves with the exactness of a dead being... lifeless- brainless...
it's all so accurate...
i wish the drip would come faster...
and i wish the prick would be harder...
... i'd like to taste it ...
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(x)Napoleon Dynamite
(x)Saw
(x)White Noise
( )White Oleander
(x)Anger Management
(x)50 First Dates
(x)Jason X
(x)Scream
(x)Scream 2
(x)Scream 3
(x)Scary Movie
(x)Scary Movie 2
(x)Scary Movie 3
(x)American Pie
(x)American Pie 2
(x)American Wedding
(x)Harry Potter
(x)Harry Potter 2
( )Harry Potter 3
( )Resident Evil I
( )Resident Evil 2
(x)The Wedding Singer
( )Little Black Book
(x)The Village
(x)Donnie Darko
( )Lilo & Stitch
(x)Finding Nemo
( )Finding Neverland
(x)13 Ghosts
(x)Signs
(x)The Grinch
( )Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x)White Chicks
(x)Butterfly Effect
(x)Thirteen going on 30
(x)I,Robot
(x)Dodge ball
( )Universal Soldier
(x)A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( )Along Came A Spider
( ) Deep impact
( ) KingPin
(x)Never Been Kissed
(x)Meet The Parents
(x)Meet The Fockers
(x)Eight Crazy Nights
( )A Cinderella Story
( )The Terminal
(x)The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x)Passport to Paris
( )Dumb & Dumber
( )Dumb & Dumberer
(x)Final Destination
(x)Final Destination 2
(x)Halloween
(x)The Ring
( )The Ring 2
( )Harold & Kumar (white castle)
(x)Practical Magic
(x)Chicago
(x)Ghost Ship
(x)From Hell
(x)Hellboy
(x)Secret Window
(x)I Am Sam
( )The Whole Nine Yards
(x)The Day After Tomorrow
(x)Child's Play
(x)Bride of Chucky
(x)Ten Things I Hate About You
(x)Just Married
(x)Gothika
( )A Nightmare on Elm Street
( )Sixteen Candles
(x)Bad Boys 2
(x)Joy Ride
( )Se7en
(x)Oceans Eleven
(x)Oceans Twelve
( )Identity
( )Lone Star
(x)Bedazzled
( )Predator I
( )Predator II
( ) Alien V.S. Predator
(x)Independence Day
( )Cujo
( )A Bronx Tale
(x)Darkness Falls
( )Christine
(x) ET
(x)Children of the Corn
( )My boss' daughter
(x)Maid in Manhattan
( )Frailty
( )Best bet
(x)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x)She's All That
(x)Calendar Girls
(x)Sideways
( )Mars Attacks
( )Event Horizon
(x)Ever after
(x)Forrest Gump
( )Big Trouble in Little China
(x)X-men 1
(x)X-men 2
(x)Jeepers Creepers
(x)Jeepers Creepers 2
(x)Catch Me If You Can
(x)The Others
(x)Freaky Friday
( )Reign of Fire
(x)Cruel Intentions
(x)The Hot Chick
(x)Swimfan
(x)Miracle
(x)Old School
( )Ray
(x)The Notebook
( )K-Pax
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( )Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x)A walk to Remember
(x)Boogeyman
( )Hitch <----------------------------------- but i will gosh dammit!
( )Back Door Sluts 9
( ) The fifth Element
( )Star Wars Episode I
( )Star wars episode II
( )Star Wars Episode IV
( )Star wars episode V
( )Star wars episode VI
(x)Troop Beverly Hills
( )Swimming with Sharks
( )Trainspotting
( )People under the stairs
( )Blue Velvet
( )Sound of music
(x)Parent Trap
( )The Burbs
( )SLC Punk
(x)Meet Joe Black
( )Wild girls.............. seen girls gone wild... does that count?
( )A Clockwork Orange
( )The Order
(x)Spiderman
(x)Spiderman2
( )Amelie
(x)Mean Girls
(x)Shrek
(x)Shrek 2
(x)The Incredibles
( )Collateral
(x)The Fast & The Furious
(x)2 Fast 2 Furious
( )Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
( )Closer
(x)The Sixth Sense
(x)Artificial intelligence
(x)Love actually
( )Shutter
( )Ella Enchanted
(x)Princess diaries 1
(x) Princess Dairies 2
( )the graduate
(x) Constantine
(x) Million Dollar Baby
deprived... a bit... yeah.
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it's odd...
how words and emotions... so rarely... go hand-n-hand...
except for mine... everything pours straight through me... if you care at all... you will know it all... frustrating.
untrue... but when it is true... it is frustrating...
anyway.
i can't think of how to say what i'm thinking... i need music.
"stuck in a moment" - U2
"fine again" - Seether
hows that... for "pouring"...
yeah... so i lied... not so hard when i can't see your pretty eyes...
someone shoot me...
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Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
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to you, poor soul, who has learned to tolerate me:
i'm sorry. and i love you.
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there is no comfort in a lack of...
but yet... there is...
and i lay there, knowing you wouldn't come back... from that moment... ever...
i found emense comfort in knowing you would break me... in knowing i would fail... in knowing i would soon lack all that i had worked so hard to gain...
your return was the most amazing punishment i have ever recieved. except for when you did finally leave...
"she sits, solitary, touched only by the breath of life. she is owned by this life in which she has concured, controlled by this world in which she has mastered. she laughs in the face of happiness, she turns her tear away. losing this universe of dreams, in her own cascade of fear. she looks about herself in wonderment... where can she run from here?"
-unknown by you.
funny how we find comfort in the future, when we fear it more than the present... and hate it more than the past...
i keep waiting... and to no avail.
but- i mean, really, does anyone know what i'm waiting for? cuz i sure as hell don't...
i'm ok. i'm better than ok. i'm happy.
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Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
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you who never learned how to be loved... sure know how to make people love you...
how to make me love you...
whispers are so loud... and actions speak so much louder than words...
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eye ♥ this moment.
this moment- when you are no where near me, and i know you cannot read me, love me, touch me, or understand me... at all.
i love that you don't know what i'm thinking... and that, for once, people have to take me for just what i say...
i say i'm ok.
i say i'm happy.
i say i'm finally living.
i say i'm finally ok without you.
i say i'm complete.
i say i'm in love.
i say i'm not lonely.
i say... i am ok with me.
and who's to argue. all you see, all you know, are my words.
you, who has always known so much more... you, who always got so much more... and, for once, all you have, is this...
you are equal to everyone else. no one can touch me through this screen... no one can see my lies or truths... you just have to know... and, usually, no one does... not really...
this is my strength. this moment. when you cannot read me, love me, touch me, or understand me... at all... at least not to my knowledge... and that, is my only strength...
this moment is my only strength. this moment with a screen and distance... from all humanity... from all emotions...
no one can harm me when i lock to door to my world, to my mind... to my heart. it is, in this moment, only mine.
i don't miss you.
i don't need you.
eye ♥ this moment.
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Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
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gotta love guns n roses...
and gotta love super-long nights that make you eat at your own brain...
oh, and gotta love the movies that keep you at least half-busy during those nights... oh, and the computer... oh... and, normally, the drugs... lol.
humm...
whatever. i feel dead and partly nonexistant...
and a little tired, which is amazing and awesome...
hope everyone had/has/will have/is in the process of having a good night. love you guys.
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Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
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you reach out
a slit through clouds
the sky taking you in
your beauty comparable
only to the stars
the diamonds of our night
the harps of eturnity
in your arms
i am beautiful
the result of your silky embrace
who am i
to lay in the arms of this angel?
to deserve comfort
from the heavens?
and to believe,
that some people,
don't believe in a God...
but what greater being
could have created such?
i must believe
you were ment, at least in part, to be with me...
because, i know,
i was ment for you...
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Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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Ven Conmigo
i'm waiting for you.
please come.
take my heart
into your arms.
por favor, ven conmigo.
save me.
open your wings
and catch me.
protect me.
por favor, ven conmigo...
touch me.
make me whole.
heal me from
this pain.
por favor, ven conmigo...
find me.
i'm forever
waiting for you.
come now, soon.
por favor, ven conmigo...
por favor...
ven conmigo...
i'm so tired
of feeling so
... alone ...
odd... how i write one thing, and try to believe another...
night guys.
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so this is chris' new LJ... i almost forget why i'm getting rid of the old one now... i'm kinda attached to it... but that's ok... i like this one too... and now i can pick which people i want to add and stuff... and that's neat...
i really wish..... i could find the right words..... to throw at the world.....
to throw into my space here...
i think i'm searching for a person who no longer exists... and in the process i'm losing what little piece of a PERSON is still left...
i'm becoming mechanic... so automatically pleasing to those at my side... those holding the score books...
my judges stand at my side and hold up score-cards for my each move, my every word... i think i'm in the lead... i think i'm losing... i think i can't ever tell the difference in the end...
pedistol? so that's what it's like to be up there eh? well, i vote the bottom... and i'm just waiting for it to welcome me back...
i suppose i could simplify this statement... this entry... these feelings and emotions...
in short, FUCK YOU.
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Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
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Sit and wait
Silence of roses
A cascaded tear
No one sees
Hands tremble
The mark of time
The clock impeccable
Stillness of sky
Frustration rises
A forgotten moon
Tomorrow melts
Dead satisfaction
Holding key
Solid fear
Listening closely
To what you’ll never hear
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Saturday, March 12th, 2005
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blaringwhispers's journal